- kids: hey dad where are we going for our next vacation
- me: well lets see kids
- me: *throws dart at map of the world*
- me: hm
- me: another trip to the middle of the pacific ocean
i remember way too many small details about people so i have to act dumb sometimes so i don’t freak them out
*friends eyes are watering for no reason*
"Are you wearing that mascara you’re allergic to but wear any way cause you think it’s cute"
"…..when did I tell you that"
"…….like…..two years ago"